Lost

is not abt the tv drama series.
is abt me.
sigh..

just cried a whole lot out.
pressure i guess...
i was told at 630pm to write a grant that is due 5pm today.
i was thinking n thinking of ideas, all the ones i tot of were done by other researchers.
think n think n find lit review till almost 2am..gave up.
felt so lost, so useless.maybe i'm just not the type to be researcher.
and this grant might be my further job however, i just cant think of anything.
virus attacked the main control of my body?not sure.

and then this lead to me feeling so down, so little so useless...
realised i still havent find the ans to what job i shd look for, what are my strengths, wat area shd i be in..blah blah blah..
and kei was nagging away exactly what i was thinking n said i just sit there and say i'm useless doesnt help (who doesnt know dat, want a self pity moment only) so it got worse... and i started crying.

this morning sup sent an email nagging abt my missing pictures in my appendix -_-"
so i have to edit it again anyway i'll fix up other minor issues b4 he say anything.
sigh...
then kei this morning continue his nagging saying that ppl ard my age has working exp of 7-10
yet i'm lost, which is dangerous.blah blah blah..

sigh..just make me feel worse...cried again.
ya cry baby here.
today not in the mood to talk to anyone unless i initate the chat.
moody...